Monday, May 24, 2010

Jon Robert reveals the truth about my parentage

...and leaves voicemails with 30 second holes in the middle. Was he waiting for a response from the machine, or did he forget to push the End button, then forget he forgot and continue leaving the message?

WHOS PARENTS DON'T LOVE THEM 'CAUSE THEY'RE ADOPTED NOW, MEANY FACE!?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

About bad service rants

In a previous post I ranted about awful customer service (from Verizon).

A lot of times, people's first inclination in those situations is is to curse out whatever poor actual person they have on the phone with/in front of them. High emotions are understandable, but that solution is almost unforgivably wrong for two reasons:

    (b) The person you yell at is almost never going to be the one who caused the problem, or who has any power whatsoever to fix it in the future. Calling back will never get the same person you were just talking to. So any hapless sap you give an earful to will be apologizing for something they had nothing to do with!

    (a) They're human beings like anyone else. It would be like one of those scum-of-the-earth people who yell at or talk down to waitresses. Noone, whatever their profession, is below you. Just don't talk to them that way.


Anyways, all that said, the occasional need to vent comes up. And it's always good to let the world know of idiocy in general so it can be throughly mocked. Thank you internet =)

Tech Support Nightmares: Verizon

Every family is filled with self-proclaimed "not computer people". There is always one sacrificial lamb, or "computer person", or "computer lamb" as it were. For atleast 3 familys, I am that lamb. (http://xkcd.com/627/) ;)

Enter Verizon. For various reasons, our house is canceling Verizon, from whom we get the usual package of tv, phone, and internet. In a sane world, I would call Verizon one time, say "Sorry, we're canceling our Verizon relationship, please push the big red button", and be done.

The nightmare begins (http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103484): Turns out you must talk to a different person (in the same company) for each different type of service. Annoying, but fine, let's get on with it.

The pain really begins when each of those 3 departments ask what you want, then decide there's a specialty department WITHIN their department they need to transfer you to. I assume this setup is in place because that first group exists solely as a buffer layer; listen to complaints about how horrible all these transfers are, then transfer you... (hopefully) to the actual tech-trained people.

Well, alright. we're up to 6 people total, but ok. However EVERY ONE of those transfers ended with a dropped call. I'm not kidding. Atleast once per department, the transfer process actually hung up on me, leading to the pleasure of another call->hold->talk->transfer dance.

Now, for those 3 call backs, I pleaded with the person to avoid the hangup issue ("I know you didn't cause it, but please promise it doesn't happen this time"). 3 new transfers, which worked, bringing the total to 12 people for 1 issue. Are we done yet?

Nope! One of those transfers that "worked" DID get me to a real person, but it was the wrong person. Time for another transfer. Yet again (I s*** you not), the transfer was a dropped call. ANOTHER call->hold->talk->transfer dance brings the total to 14 people. For 1 issue. Yeah...

The total was actually 2 people higher then that because one (and only one) of those support dudes refused to talk to anyone but the account holder, who had a female name. Me having all the account numbers, pass codes, and pieces of personal information did nothing. Hanging up and recalling to a different person-and-transfer solved that.

The icing on the cake in all this is that most of those calls involved the infamous talking to a machine before getting to a real person. For each of those, it's the same issue on the same account with the same account number. But it's 3 different departments times all the above headaches, and for each one a new chance to enter that SAME account number.

The best part of all? The very first thing EVERY person I talked to asked: "Hi, what's you're account number?" The machines do utterly nothing. Not a single thing you type is passed on to the person who eventually gets the call.

t(^.^t) Verizon.